Mom, I'm really sick. I have Leukemia.

Okay. It's time to write my story. Nic's story and our whole family's story.

When the phone rang last May 31st at 11:00 PM, I had actually forgotten that my son Nic had called earlier that evening and told me he was going to urgent care. He had a temperature of 103. We had gone to my brother's house on Memorial Weekend - our whole extended family was there. Nic wasn't feeling well - coughing, cold, bronchitis-type symptoms. He had a pain in his chest. He was very tired and it was hard to wake him to come to the table. He had been 'doctoring' for a while - they kept giving him antibiotics and treating his symptoms, but he was busy trying to finish college, so he kept plugging along.

He graduated from the University of Minnesota on May 16th with a degree in Biochemistry. He started his college education thinking he might like to be a lawyer so he studied Political Science. After a year, he started thinking that if he didn't get a law degree, what would he do, so she switched to engineering. He was always very good in math and science, and that logical thinking suited him well. When he got ready to specialize, he decided Biomedical Engineering would be his choice - until he spoke with some engineers who described most of their work as being on a computer and doing design. Nic wanted to work with people so he switched once again to Biochemistry. He got a part-time job working in a lab on campus and enjoyed the work and the people there.

So he graduated. We were so proud of him. He was just starting his job search and was looking at options in-state and nationwide. I called him after that trip to Wisconsin and asked if he had gone back to the doctor, but he said he was feeling better. Until Sunday the 31st. He and his boyfriend Irael were going to go to a 3rd Eye Blind concert that evening, so he tried napping in the afternoon, but when his temp was up to 103, they decided he needed to go in. They went to Urgent Care, but there was a 2 hour wait, so they went to the emergency room at the University of Minnesota Medical Center on campus.

That's when he called me. Upon examination, they found that his white blood cell count was off the charts. His blood was so full of leukemic cells, it was starting to get thick. He told me "Mom, I'm really sick. I have Leukemia."

No, not Nic. Not my child. It was surreal. Micalie and I were visiting in the kitchen and I was getting ready to go to bed - I had to work in the morning. I couldn't believe what he was telling me and said that it wasn't fair, and Nic calmly said "Mom, life isn't fair." It hasn't been to Nic, anyway.

Desiderata was one of those eye-opening quotes that a person found when they were in high school and plastered their walls with wisdom. I know it by heart - even yet. As I reflect upon my life and the events of the year, this is one piece of writing I would like my children to read - over and over. In fact, I think I will make a poster for them to plaster on their walls.

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).

The Gratitude Dance

Many of you know that I have a 24 year old son who is in the hospital fighting leukemia. Today I am thinking about gratitude.

This morning I woke up being grateful for all the healing Nic has experienced already. For his fungal pneumonia seeing a steady, slow decrease in size. For his kidneys returning to good function. For the chemo destroying the leukemic cells in his blood. For the new cells forming over the sores in his mouth. For his awesome friends that are faithful and spend so much time here with him in the hospital. For all our family, friends and many, many strangers who call and e-mail and post comments on his caring bridge page to lift us up. For the faith God has given us to be strong and help him fight this.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Take a look at this Youtube video and join me today in this "Gratitude Dance" - we are so grateful for continued healing!

The Gratitude Dance

I have to share a story today - enjoy.

This is Good

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied - "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitio

us, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened." And so, I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you, and not here with you right now."

In a very unusual way, the message here unfolds into exposing the following principle about life.

"Absolutely everything happens for a purpose; and out of what seems like adversity at the time; always comes good".

I'm sure that if any of us care to reflect back on the tragedy's, the heartaches, the 'bad times' in our lives, that we discover that we have really grown or developed during that period of time:even though the reflection may still cause us discomfort in some way.

It is in this way that we slowly gather experience and wisdom, and even though we may think or feel that it is unfair, that's the way it is.

"This is good". Many of our life's experiences have saved us from some form of cannibals; it's just that we often don't know that they have at the time.

So, for a simple example to help with awareness: next time you may begin to feel you are being 'wronged' by being stuck in a traffic jam, think about the cannibals that could be lurking down the road a bit,but will be gone by the time you get there.

Now that's a bit different, but worth trying: "this is good" - despite the circumstances.

Remember: "What others do or say is their stuff; how we react, or not, is our stuff"!
And: "True Happiness in life isn't having what you want, but wanting what you have"!

© Phil Evans

www.peoplestuff.com.au

This little message helped me today - I hope you can apply it to your life as well.

Terry

Pay Your Dues

TRYING TO GET WITHOUT FIRST GIVING IS AS FRUITLESS AS TRYING TO REAP WITHOUT HAVING SOWN.

The Bible states that we reap what we sow. The most fertile soil in the world is barren unless seeds have been properly planted, cultivated, and nurtured. The relationship between giving and getting is constant in everything you do. To succeed in any endeavor, you must first invest a generous portion of your time and talents if you expect ever to earn a return on your investment. You have to give before you get. It’s all a matter of attitude. You may occasionally be disappointed if you are not rewarded for your efforts, but if you demand payment for your services before you render them, you can expect a lifetime of disappointment and frustration. If you cheerfully do your best before asking for any compensation, you can expect a bountiful harvest of the greatest rewards life has to offer. - Napoleon Hill