Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Mom, I'm really sick. I have Leukemia.
Okay. It's time to write my story. Nic's story and our whole family's story.
When the phone rang last May 31st at 11:00 PM, I had actually forgotten that my son Nic had called earlier that evening and told me he was going to urgent care. He had a temperature of 103. We had gone to my brother's house on Memorial Weekend - our whole extended family was there. Nic wasn't feeling well - coughing, cold, bronchitis-type symptoms. He had a pain in his chest. He was very tired and it was hard to wake him to come to the table. He had been 'doctoring' for a while - they kept giving him antibiotics and treating his symptoms, but he was busy trying to finish college, so he kept plugging along.
He graduated from the University of Minnesota on May 16th with a degree in Biochemistry. He started his college education thinking he might like to be a lawyer so he studied Political Science. After a year, he started thinking that if he didn't get a law degree, what would he do, so she switched to engineering. He was always very good in math and science, and that logical thinking suited him well. When he got ready to specialize, he decided Biomedical Engineering would be his choice - until he spoke with some engineers who described most of their work as being on a computer and doing design. Nic wanted to work with people so he switched once again to Biochemistry. He got a part-time job working in a lab on campus and enjoyed the work and the people there.
So he graduated. We were so proud of him. He was just starting his job search and was looking at options in-state and nationwide. I called him after that trip to Wisconsin and asked if he had gone back to the doctor, but he said he was feeling better. Until Sunday the 31st. He and his boyfriend Irael were going to go to a 3rd Eye Blind concert that evening, so he tried napping in the afternoon, but when his temp was up to 103, they decided he needed to go in. They went to Urgent Care, but there was a 2 hour wait, so they went to the emergency room at the University of Minnesota Medical Center on campus.
That's when he called me. Upon examination, they found that his white blood cell count was off the charts. His blood was so full of leukemic cells, it was starting to get thick. He told me "Mom, I'm really sick. I have Leukemia."
No, not Nic. Not my child. It was surreal. Micalie and I were visiting in the kitchen and I was getting ready to go to bed - I had to work in the morning. I couldn't believe what he was telling me and said that it wasn't fair, and Nic calmly said "Mom, life isn't fair." It hasn't been to Nic, anyway.
When the phone rang last May 31st at 11:00 PM, I had actually forgotten that my son Nic had called earlier that evening and told me he was going to urgent care. He had a temperature of 103. We had gone to my brother's house on Memorial Weekend - our whole extended family was there. Nic wasn't feeling well - coughing, cold, bronchitis-type symptoms. He had a pain in his chest. He was very tired and it was hard to wake him to come to the table. He had been 'doctoring' for a while - they kept giving him antibiotics and treating his symptoms, but he was busy trying to finish college, so he kept plugging along.
He graduated from the University of Minnesota on May 16th with a degree in Biochemistry. He started his college education thinking he might like to be a lawyer so he studied Political Science. After a year, he started thinking that if he didn't get a law degree, what would he do, so she switched to engineering. He was always very good in math and science, and that logical thinking suited him well. When he got ready to specialize, he decided Biomedical Engineering would be his choice - until he spoke with some engineers who described most of their work as being on a computer and doing design. Nic wanted to work with people so he switched once again to Biochemistry. He got a part-time job working in a lab on campus and enjoyed the work and the people there.
So he graduated. We were so proud of him. He was just starting his job search and was looking at options in-state and nationwide. I called him after that trip to Wisconsin and asked if he had gone back to the doctor, but he said he was feeling better. Until Sunday the 31st. He and his boyfriend Irael were going to go to a 3rd Eye Blind concert that evening, so he tried napping in the afternoon, but when his temp was up to 103, they decided he needed to go in. They went to Urgent Care, but there was a 2 hour wait, so they went to the emergency room at the University of Minnesota Medical Center on campus.
That's when he called me. Upon examination, they found that his white blood cell count was off the charts. His blood was so full of leukemic cells, it was starting to get thick. He told me "Mom, I'm really sick. I have Leukemia."
No, not Nic. Not my child. It was surreal. Micalie and I were visiting in the kitchen and I was getting ready to go to bed - I had to work in the morning. I couldn't believe what he was telling me and said that it wasn't fair, and Nic calmly said "Mom, life isn't fair." It hasn't been to Nic, anyway.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
6 Surefire Ways to Jumpstart 2010!
I believe one of the pieces to laying a solid foundation for success can be summed in one word – BALANCE! If you lean too much to just the money side of achieving your dreams or goals, you may find getting or arriving at the top of your field or businesslonely. If you place too much emphasis on getting ahead and working endless hours, you may wake up one day to the harsh reality that you have no meaningful friendships or significant person in your life to love.
The best way to guard against these possible scenarios or others like them is to devise goals that include key areas of your life that are based upon your core values. For example, as a Christian woman, my values are (1) God first (2) family second (3) ministry or business, etc is third on my hierarchy of priorities; it is different for everyone.
There are six areas I believe will set a strong foundation from which to build as you pursue your goals for 2010 and beyond. They are (1) Faith (2) Family (3) Fitness (4) Finances (5) Friends and (6) Fun.
1. Faith. It is important to build yourself up spiritually and stay connected to God through prayer, praise, and worship, reading the Bible, and study Scripture. Doing these things every day consistently will help you be in tune for divine guidance, instruction, and direction for your family, health, business, etc.
2. Family. Family is one of the most important relationships you can have in life! If your home is not in order or falling apart, it will have a negative impact on every thing you do including our business. You may have the most wonderful wife or husband and children in the world, but if they are not nurtured and made to feel important, you jeopardize losing them. Devise a family mission statement and stick with. This will help you see when you are getting of course or imbalanced.
3. Fitness. We live in such a fast-paced society that we often do not the care of our physical health. The fact is you cannot neglect your physical health and expect to accomplish your dream and goals. A sick or diseased body will limit how we pursue your dreams and goals – energetically or sluggishly; sharp thinker or dull thinker, etc. The best remedies for this is plan and execute a regular exercise regimen and eat more healthy foods. Being emotionally healthy is just as important as physical health. Exercise your brain by reading inspiring and encouraging books, listen to tapes. Develop a personal development regimen.
4. Finance. Become a good steward of the financial blessings that come into your life through running your own business or as an employee. No where your money is going. Set goals of how much income you want to generate, save, donate, and invest. Guard against greed! Develop a healthy attitude and relationship with money. It’s only a tool and when used properly can benefit and bless you, your family and those around you.
5. Friends. Next to having strong family connections friends are the second most important relationships in your life, and they need to be honored and nurtured as well. When others, including your family, fail to understand you sometimes, a close, trusting friend can really help keep you well grounded! You may only have one or two close friends, but that is more than most people have. So, hold onto them and do not work too much at pursuing your dreams and goals that you neglect your friends!
6. Fun. The old adage, “All work and no play makes a Jack a dull boy” still rings true today! It is so important to laugh and have fun, go places and do fun things! Have fun just for the sake of having fun!! It is a big stress reliever and is good for your overall health. It is not a healthy practice to work 18 hours or more 7 days a week! Take time to nurture yourself; it will rejuvenate you!
Doing these things will ensure a strong foundation of balance in your life so that you can build strong, healthy relationships while you pursue your dreams and goals. Happy New Year!
If you’d like to use this article on your website, in your newsletter or anywhere else, you may do so as long as the information below is included in its entirety.
Yvonne Carson is the CEO/founder of Woman-To-Woman Empowerment Academy and Women Breaking Free, a free membership community. Her mission is to help women to grow through spiritual development and personal development.http://womenbreakingfree.ning.com
The best way to guard against these possible scenarios or others like them is to devise goals that include key areas of your life that are based upon your core values. For example, as a Christian woman, my values are (1) God first (2) family second (3) ministry or business, etc is third on my hierarchy of priorities; it is different for everyone.
There are six areas I believe will set a strong foundation from which to build as you pursue your goals for 2010 and beyond. They are (1) Faith (2) Family (3) Fitness (4) Finances (5) Friends and (6) Fun.
1. Faith. It is important to build yourself up spiritually and stay connected to God through prayer, praise, and worship, reading the Bible, and study Scripture. Doing these things every day consistently will help you be in tune for divine guidance, instruction, and direction for your family, health, business, etc.
2. Family. Family is one of the most important relationships you can have in life! If your home is not in order or falling apart, it will have a negative impact on every thing you do including our business. You may have the most wonderful wife or husband and children in the world, but if they are not nurtured and made to feel important, you jeopardize losing them. Devise a family mission statement and stick with. This will help you see when you are getting of course or imbalanced.
3. Fitness. We live in such a fast-paced society that we often do not the care of our physical health. The fact is you cannot neglect your physical health and expect to accomplish your dream and goals. A sick or diseased body will limit how we pursue your dreams and goals – energetically or sluggishly; sharp thinker or dull thinker, etc. The best remedies for this is plan and execute a regular exercise regimen and eat more healthy foods. Being emotionally healthy is just as important as physical health. Exercise your brain by reading inspiring and encouraging books, listen to tapes. Develop a personal development regimen.
4. Finance. Become a good steward of the financial blessings that come into your life through running your own business or as an employee. No where your money is going. Set goals of how much income you want to generate, save, donate, and invest. Guard against greed! Develop a healthy attitude and relationship with money. It’s only a tool and when used properly can benefit and bless you, your family and those around you.
5. Friends. Next to having strong family connections friends are the second most important relationships in your life, and they need to be honored and nurtured as well. When others, including your family, fail to understand you sometimes, a close, trusting friend can really help keep you well grounded! You may only have one or two close friends, but that is more than most people have. So, hold onto them and do not work too much at pursuing your dreams and goals that you neglect your friends!
6. Fun. The old adage, “All work and no play makes a Jack a dull boy” still rings true today! It is so important to laugh and have fun, go places and do fun things! Have fun just for the sake of having fun!! It is a big stress reliever and is good for your overall health. It is not a healthy practice to work 18 hours or more 7 days a week! Take time to nurture yourself; it will rejuvenate you!
Doing these things will ensure a strong foundation of balance in your life so that you can build strong, healthy relationships while you pursue your dreams and goals. Happy New Year!
If you’d like to use this article on your website, in your newsletter or anywhere else, you may do so as long as the information below is included in its entirety.
Yvonne Carson is the CEO/founder of Woman-To-Woman Empowerment Academy and Women Breaking Free, a free membership community. Her mission is to help women to grow through spiritual development and personal development.http://womenbreakingfree.ning.com
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Leadership Secrets from Santa Claus
by Gary Ryan Blair in Leadership |December 24th, 2009 |
For 26 years, a man known only as Secret Santa has roamed the streets of Kansas City every December quietly giving people money. He started with $5 and $10 bills.
Who is Santa Claus?
As his fortune grew, so did the gifts. In recent years, Secret Santa has been handing out $100 bills, sometimes two or three at a time, to people in thrift stores, diners and parking lots.
During his life he’s anonymously given out more than $1.3 million. It’s been a long-held holiday mystery: Who is Secret Santa?
Larry Stewart passed away on January 12, 2007 from esophageal cancer but not before he revealed his identify and passing on his belief in random acts of benevolence.
Mr. Stewart made his millions in cable television and in long-distance telephone services.
His holiday giving started in December 1979 when he was nursing his wounds at a drive-in restaurant after getting fired.
It was the second year in a row he had been fired the week before Christmas.
Turning Tragedy into Opportunity
Soon after getting fired, Mr. Stewart was at a drive in restaurant and came across a car hop: “It was cold and this car hop (waiter or waitress who brings food to people at drive-ins) didn’t have on a very big jacket, and I thought to myself, `I think I got it bad. She’s out there in this cold making nickels and dimes,’” he said.
He gave her $20 and told her to keep the change.
“And suddenly I saw her lips begin to tremble and tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She said, `Sir, you have no idea what this means to me.’”
Stewart was moved and went to the bank that day and took out $200. He then drove around looking for people who could use a lift.
That was his “Christmas present to himself.” He hit the streets each December since.
While Stewart has also given money to other community causes in Kansas City and his hometown of Bruce, Miss., he offers the simple gifts of cash because it’s something people don’t have to “beg for, get in line for, or apply for.”
That was a feeling he came to know in the early ’70s when he was living out of his yellow Datsun. Hungry and tired, Stewart mustered the nerve to approach a woman at a church and ask for help. The woman told him the person who could help was gone for the day, and Stewart would have to come back the next day.
“As I turned around, I knew I would never do that again,” Stewart said.
Over the years, Stewart’s giving as Secret Santa grew. He started a Web site. He allowed the news media to tag along, mostly because he wanted to hear about the people who received the money. Reporters had to agree to guard his identity and not name his company.
His entourage grew over the years, and he began traveling with special elves and training others to be Secret Santas.
The Spirit of Secret Santa is Alive and Growing
Today, Larry Dean Stewart’s loyal Elves and the Secret Santas he trained are building upon the foundation he laid.
A new group of Secret Santas and Elves are very busy this Christmas. They are going coast to coast in selected cities and towns to spread hope this Christmas, giving one hundred dollar bills to the needy.
This year in his honor each one hundred dollar bill will bear the name Larry Stewart Secret Santa.
They will also be training those who have come forward to be a Secret Santa Leader in their community.
Could you be a Secret Santa? Go the Secret Santa Society to learn how.
Also, while you may not be able to pass out $100 dollar bills, how can you make a difference in the life of just one person in your community?
I’d love to hear about it.
Happy Holidays!
Gary
http://www.everythingcounts.com/
For 26 years, a man known only as Secret Santa has roamed the streets of Kansas City every December quietly giving people money. He started with $5 and $10 bills.
Who is Santa Claus?
As his fortune grew, so did the gifts. In recent years, Secret Santa has been handing out $100 bills, sometimes two or three at a time, to people in thrift stores, diners and parking lots.
During his life he’s anonymously given out more than $1.3 million. It’s been a long-held holiday mystery: Who is Secret Santa?
Larry Stewart passed away on January 12, 2007 from esophageal cancer but not before he revealed his identify and passing on his belief in random acts of benevolence.
Mr. Stewart made his millions in cable television and in long-distance telephone services.
His holiday giving started in December 1979 when he was nursing his wounds at a drive-in restaurant after getting fired.
It was the second year in a row he had been fired the week before Christmas.
Turning Tragedy into Opportunity
Soon after getting fired, Mr. Stewart was at a drive in restaurant and came across a car hop: “It was cold and this car hop (waiter or waitress who brings food to people at drive-ins) didn’t have on a very big jacket, and I thought to myself, `I think I got it bad. She’s out there in this cold making nickels and dimes,’” he said.
He gave her $20 and told her to keep the change.
“And suddenly I saw her lips begin to tremble and tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She said, `Sir, you have no idea what this means to me.’”
Stewart was moved and went to the bank that day and took out $200. He then drove around looking for people who could use a lift.
That was his “Christmas present to himself.” He hit the streets each December since.
While Stewart has also given money to other community causes in Kansas City and his hometown of Bruce, Miss., he offers the simple gifts of cash because it’s something people don’t have to “beg for, get in line for, or apply for.”
That was a feeling he came to know in the early ’70s when he was living out of his yellow Datsun. Hungry and tired, Stewart mustered the nerve to approach a woman at a church and ask for help. The woman told him the person who could help was gone for the day, and Stewart would have to come back the next day.
“As I turned around, I knew I would never do that again,” Stewart said.
Over the years, Stewart’s giving as Secret Santa grew. He started a Web site. He allowed the news media to tag along, mostly because he wanted to hear about the people who received the money. Reporters had to agree to guard his identity and not name his company.
His entourage grew over the years, and he began traveling with special elves and training others to be Secret Santas.
The Spirit of Secret Santa is Alive and Growing
Today, Larry Dean Stewart’s loyal Elves and the Secret Santas he trained are building upon the foundation he laid.
A new group of Secret Santas and Elves are very busy this Christmas. They are going coast to coast in selected cities and towns to spread hope this Christmas, giving one hundred dollar bills to the needy.
This year in his honor each one hundred dollar bill will bear the name Larry Stewart Secret Santa.
They will also be training those who have come forward to be a Secret Santa Leader in their community.
Could you be a Secret Santa? Go the Secret Santa Society to learn how.
Also, while you may not be able to pass out $100 dollar bills, how can you make a difference in the life of just one person in your community?
I’d love to hear about it.
Happy Holidays!
Gary
http://www.everythingcounts.com/
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Different Kinds of Work
If your boss asks you to move a box from point a to point b, it's probably not okay to say, "I don't feel like it right now."
If you work on the chain gang and it's time to dig a ditch, you don't get a reprieve if you roll your eyes and say, "that's not what they pay me for."
And if you're a dishwasher, you don't get a chance to say, "I guess I'm just not the kind of person who's good at putting his hands into really hot soapy water all day."
And yet.
And yet when we ask you to look people in the eye, be creative, brainstorm, be generous, find a way to satisfy an angry customer, work with a bully, learn a new skill or bring joy to work, suddenly the excuses pile up. Is this a different sort of work? Is raising your hand in class too much to ask of you?
The jobs most of us would like to have are jobs like this. And yet we put up a fight when given the chance to do them well.
Seth Godin
If you work on the chain gang and it's time to dig a ditch, you don't get a reprieve if you roll your eyes and say, "that's not what they pay me for."
And if you're a dishwasher, you don't get a chance to say, "I guess I'm just not the kind of person who's good at putting his hands into really hot soapy water all day."
And yet.
And yet when we ask you to look people in the eye, be creative, brainstorm, be generous, find a way to satisfy an angry customer, work with a bully, learn a new skill or bring joy to work, suddenly the excuses pile up. Is this a different sort of work? Is raising your hand in class too much to ask of you?
The jobs most of us would like to have are jobs like this. And yet we put up a fight when given the chance to do them well.
Seth Godin
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
I wanted wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, and share a wonderful letter of encouragement that was written to a dear friend back in 1513.
Although it was written so long ago, the words still ring true for us today.
“I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep.
There is nothing I can give you which you have not got. But there is much, very much, that while I cannot give it, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace!
The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy!
Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all!
And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away.”
“Fra Giovanni, 1513"
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
From: A Storybook Life
Although it was written so long ago, the words still ring true for us today.
“I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep.
There is nothing I can give you which you have not got. But there is much, very much, that while I cannot give it, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace!
The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy!
Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all!
And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away.”
“Fra Giovanni, 1513"
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
From: A Storybook Life
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Desiderata was one of those eye-opening quotes that a person found when they were in high school and plastered their walls with wisdom. I know it by heart - even yet. As I reflect upon my life and the events of the year, this is one piece of writing I would like my children to read - over and over. In fact, I think I will make a poster for them to plaster on their walls.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Gratitude Dance
Many of you know that I have a 24 year old son who is in the hospital fighting leukemia. Today I am thinking about gratitude.
This morning I woke up being grateful for all the healing Nic has experienced already. For his fungal pneumonia seeing a steady, slow decrease in size. For his kidneys returning to good function. For the chemo destroying the leukemic cells in his blood. For the new cells forming over the sores in his mouth. For his awesome friends that are faithful and spend so much time here with him in the hospital. For all our family, friends and many, many strangers who call and e-mail and post comments on his caring bridge page to lift us up. For the faith God has given us to be strong and help him fight this.
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15
Take a look at this Youtube video and join me today in this "Gratitude Dance" - we are so grateful for continued healing!
The Gratitude Dance
This morning I woke up being grateful for all the healing Nic has experienced already. For his fungal pneumonia seeing a steady, slow decrease in size. For his kidneys returning to good function. For the chemo destroying the leukemic cells in his blood. For the new cells forming over the sores in his mouth. For his awesome friends that are faithful and spend so much time here with him in the hospital. For all our family, friends and many, many strangers who call and e-mail and post comments on his caring bridge page to lift us up. For the faith God has given us to be strong and help him fight this.
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15
Take a look at this Youtube video and join me today in this "Gratitude Dance" - we are so grateful for continued healing!
The Gratitude Dance
Friday, July 17, 2009
Notes from the Universe
Yesterday I watched a small bird, flying very fast, disappear into the canopy of an oak tree. So dense were its leaves that it was impossible to see what happened next, though I can tell you it remained inside.
I wondered how the little bird found its opening through the leaves at such a speed, and then managed to gently align its fragile body on the branch it chose to land upon, all within a fraction of a second. Not to mention the impossible to imagine flying maneuvers required: the banking, the curling, the vertical and horizontal stabilizations, the deceleration and landing.
Memory? Calculation? Not in that tiny brain. Instinct? Maybe, but how does instinct know which way the branches of a tree have grown when no two are the same?
Terry, that little bird just knew. It had faith, in spite of not being able to see how things would work out, that if (and only if) it stayed the course the details would be taken care of; that an opening would appear and a twig would be found. In fact, had she slowed down enough to carefully and logically inspect the tree first, the prudent thing to do, she would have lost her lift and fallen to the ground.
Kind of like reaching for your dreams. Neither memory, nor calculating, nor instincts are the deciding factors, but faith coupled with action.
I wondered how the little bird found its opening through the leaves at such a speed, and then managed to gently align its fragile body on the branch it chose to land upon, all within a fraction of a second. Not to mention the impossible to imagine flying maneuvers required: the banking, the curling, the vertical and horizontal stabilizations, the deceleration and landing.
Memory? Calculation? Not in that tiny brain. Instinct? Maybe, but how does instinct know which way the branches of a tree have grown when no two are the same?
Terry, that little bird just knew. It had faith, in spite of not being able to see how things would work out, that if (and only if) it stayed the course the details would be taken care of; that an opening would appear and a twig would be found. In fact, had she slowed down enough to carefully and logically inspect the tree first, the prudent thing to do, she would have lost her lift and fallen to the ground.
Kind of like reaching for your dreams. Neither memory, nor calculating, nor instincts are the deciding factors, but faith coupled with action.
Tallyho,
The Universe
www.tut.com
I have to share a story today - enjoy.
This is Good
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"
To which the king replied - "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitio
This is Good
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"
To which the king replied - "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitio
Friday, July 10, 2009
Free Yourself from Photo Clutter
Whether you're "digital" or "paper" we can all use a little Photo Freedom! If you're paper, you probably have a box, drawer, or maybe even a pile of pictures stacking up. And if you're digital, your hard drive can look much the same. I've been a victim of both... Organizing photos may seem overwhelming, but you can free yourself from photo chaos with a few simple ideas and tips. This process won't happen overnight. It's a process...and ongoing one, but before you know it you can be enjoying beautiful photos in your home, on your walls, or in heirloom-quality storybooks.
Not All Photos Are Created Equal
Step #1 -Weed through your pictures
Keeping Things Simple
Step # 2 - Organize
Share Your Photos
Step #3 - Sharing and Displaying
Keep Up The Good Work
Using Heritage Maker's Studio can help you stay on top of your photo chaos. By simply adding story and a few photos, you can create meaningful photo books that can be shared with everyone who walks through the doors of your home. The entire family can be part of the process. This is no longer MOM'S job! It's a family thing.
Heritage Maker's Studio 3.0 is simple to use with an easy drag and drop system. You can upload your story text, images, and scanned images into a book template of your choice, or be completely creative and start your project from scratch using our 40,000+ pieces of art to complete your project. End result, a beautiful soft or hardbound book, poster, calendar, cookbook, card, poster, or home decor project will arrive on your doorstep in 10 - 15 business days.
Organizing your photos can be a daunting task. So keep it simple. These are priceless memories that can be easily enjoyed and relived for generations to come. Go to my website at www.celebrationstorybooks.com to get started now.
Essentially, the goal is make sure our stories, memories, traditions, thoughts and values can be passed on. Don't lose focus.
Photo Organizing tips from Tara Brown
Not All Photos Are Created Equal
Step #1 -Weed through your pictures
- Toss out/delete all the bad, blurry pictures.
- For paper pics, set duplicates to the side in a separate pile.
- Keep only your favorite, quality images/pictures and throw the rest out!
- For paper images make a pile for pictures that you'd like to frame and/or send to friends and family.
- For digital images make a folder for pictures you'd like to print and frame and/or send to family and friends.
- With an acid-free photo pen, label the pictures on the back of the photo's edge. If you can recall the date, names, and place, add those details.
Keeping Things Simple
Step # 2 - Organize
- Make pile/folder by themes - by date, years, events, people.
- Pictures can be kept in photo-safe boxes AFTER they're sorted and organized.
- On note cards, used as dividers, write down notes, stories and memories about each theme of photos.
Share Your Photos
Step #3 - Sharing and Displaying
- Send copies of your photos to friends and family regularly. Have a stash of pre-addressed envelopes so they're ready to go out every few months. Not everyone has access to the computer.
- Build digital photo albums online or keep a BLOG and send notices to friends and family when they're updated.
- Intricate albums with details and captions can be...well...you know.... If you have the time, money, and more time and more money... scrapbooking can easily become an overwhelming and time-consuming hobby.
- Photos and stories combined are what create family traditions and heirlooms to be passed down. By choosing "one" special event, such as a wedding or new baby, you can create beautiful family story and photo books with Heritage Makers.
- Print and frame your pictures. Get them up on the walls, on your shelves, and out so they can be seen! Choose only your best photos. Use our amazing system to create posters, family folds, 12x12 pages that can be decoupaged to tiles as wonderful home decor.
- Be creative...string them from cute wire clips, use bulletin boards, memo boards...that way they are easy to change out and update.
Keep Up The Good Work
- Once you're caught up (yes, that can happen) keep up and control your photos! Organize your photos as soon as you download or develop.
- For paper pictures, keep a VERY SMALL photo/shoe box out.As the box begins to fill, sit down with the family and sort through the photos, share the stories, write them down and prep them to be scanned and loaded into a photo/story book.
- As soon as you download pictures, delete the bad ones! Label folders in your "My Pictures" folder with dates and event names if possible.
Using Heritage Maker's Studio can help you stay on top of your photo chaos. By simply adding story and a few photos, you can create meaningful photo books that can be shared with everyone who walks through the doors of your home. The entire family can be part of the process. This is no longer MOM'S job! It's a family thing.
Heritage Maker's Studio 3.0 is simple to use with an easy drag and drop system. You can upload your story text, images, and scanned images into a book template of your choice, or be completely creative and start your project from scratch using our 40,000+ pieces of art to complete your project. End result, a beautiful soft or hardbound book, poster, calendar, cookbook, card, poster, or home decor project will arrive on your doorstep in 10 - 15 business days.
Organizing your photos can be a daunting task. So keep it simple. These are priceless memories that can be easily enjoyed and relived for generations to come. Go to my website at www.celebrationstorybooks.com to get started now.
Essentially, the goal is make sure our stories, memories, traditions, thoughts and values can be passed on. Don't lose focus.
Photo Organizing tips from Tara Brown
The Lesson of the Morning Glory!
I planted seeds in my little garden this year.
I have never planted seeds before, because I am not a very patient person, and waiting for the little green shoots to rise above the ground, was just too much for me. But this year, I thought I would give it a try. I thought it would be a good metaphor for me, to plant something and watch it grow, much as I have many times, planted thoughts, dreams and affirmations and watched many of them become a reality.
And so, in the Spring of this year, I planted my garden. I chose many types of flowers and among them, Morning Glories. Within a month, many of the other flowers were bursting through the earth, but not the Morning Glories.
Each morning, I would run outside to check on them, and nothing, nothing for several weeks more. I was about to give up on them. I was sure that they just did not 'take' so to speak. But finally, it happened! They had broken through the earth, and were starting to climb. And climb, and climb, and climb, they did....with their big, beautiful, heart shaped leaves.
And so, the saga continued, nothing for weeks and weeks and weeks but more and more beautiful leaves. And I thought to myself, "Well, leaves are nice, but that is all I will probably get at this point." And then, one fine and glorious morning, there it was, the most beautiful sky-blue morning glory I have ever seen!!! It seemed like a miracle to me. I had waited over 3 months for this one delicate, funnel-shaped flower to show up and now here it was, in all its splendor.
It reminded me of just how many times I had waited in life for something I had longed for, and how incredible it felt when it finally arrived, and also, how many times, that I had wanted to throw in the towel, and just give up.
But I wasn't prepared for what was to happen next, with these little flowers, and I was surprised and deeply saddened by it.
Roses and geraniums and daisies and most other flowers bloom and stay around for a while, but not Morning Glories. Morning Glories open themselves up to the world, in the morning, in all of their glory, hence the name, Morning Glory.
And if you look closely at them, you will see how extraordinary they are, both in colour and texture, and that in their centre, is a kind of golden light that shines from within.
But here is the hard part...
At the end of the day, they turn a most beautiful shade of lavender, and then close up, wither and die. They live for only one day, and then they are gone. I cannot tell you how much this saddened me, and what a profound effect this little flower had upon my life. I kept thinking how sad to be so beautiful and live for only one day. And then, I suddenly realized what a gift they were.
You see, it doesn't matter how long your life is. It only matters that you were here, in all your glory, that you opened up completely, and let your light shine, and that you brought joy to those who came into contact with you. That's what matters to the morning glory, and that's what really matters to all of us.
The morning glories make me appreciate every new day now, in a way I didn't before. Each evening, I go and visit with them, knowing those particular ones won't be here tomorrow, new ones will take their place. If we knew when we woke up in the morning, that we only had that one day to really live, life would be very different indeed for many of us.
Now, each morning, I give thanks that I have been given the gift of another day, in all its glory. We can learn from all of life, if we remain open to the beauty that is all around us. And nature can be one of our greatest teachers.
What a profound lesson from such a simple flower.
Thank you, my sweet little morning glories!
Veronica Hay
Veronica Hay is an inspirational writer and author of In A Dream, You Can Do Anything, An Extraordinary Collection Of Words. Her work inspires others to be more of who they really are. For more insights and inspiration you can visit her website at: www.insightsandinspirations.com or email her at veronicahay@telus.net
I planted seeds in my little garden this year.
I have never planted seeds before, because I am not a very patient person, and waiting for the little green shoots to rise above the ground, was just too much for me. But this year, I thought I would give it a try. I thought it would be a good metaphor for me, to plant something and watch it grow, much as I have many times, planted thoughts, dreams and affirmations and watched many of them become a reality.
And so, in the Spring of this year, I planted my garden. I chose many types of flowers and among them, Morning Glories. Within a month, many of the other flowers were bursting through the earth, but not the Morning Glories.
Each morning, I would run outside to check on them, and nothing, nothing for several weeks more. I was about to give up on them. I was sure that they just did not 'take' so to speak. But finally, it happened! They had broken through the earth, and were starting to climb. And climb, and climb, and climb, they did....with their big, beautiful, heart shaped leaves.
And so, the saga continued, nothing for weeks and weeks and weeks but more and more beautiful leaves. And I thought to myself, "Well, leaves are nice, but that is all I will probably get at this point." And then, one fine and glorious morning, there it was, the most beautiful sky-blue morning glory I have ever seen!!! It seemed like a miracle to me. I had waited over 3 months for this one delicate, funnel-shaped flower to show up and now here it was, in all its splendor.
It reminded me of just how many times I had waited in life for something I had longed for, and how incredible it felt when it finally arrived, and also, how many times, that I had wanted to throw in the towel, and just give up.
But I wasn't prepared for what was to happen next, with these little flowers, and I was surprised and deeply saddened by it.
Roses and geraniums and daisies and most other flowers bloom and stay around for a while, but not Morning Glories. Morning Glories open themselves up to the world, in the morning, in all of their glory, hence the name, Morning Glory.
And if you look closely at them, you will see how extraordinary they are, both in colour and texture, and that in their centre, is a kind of golden light that shines from within.
But here is the hard part...
At the end of the day, they turn a most beautiful shade of lavender, and then close up, wither and die. They live for only one day, and then they are gone. I cannot tell you how much this saddened me, and what a profound effect this little flower had upon my life. I kept thinking how sad to be so beautiful and live for only one day. And then, I suddenly realized what a gift they were.
You see, it doesn't matter how long your life is. It only matters that you were here, in all your glory, that you opened up completely, and let your light shine, and that you brought joy to those who came into contact with you. That's what matters to the morning glory, and that's what really matters to all of us.
The morning glories make me appreciate every new day now, in a way I didn't before. Each evening, I go and visit with them, knowing those particular ones won't be here tomorrow, new ones will take their place. If we knew when we woke up in the morning, that we only had that one day to really live, life would be very different indeed for many of us.
Now, each morning, I give thanks that I have been given the gift of another day, in all its glory. We can learn from all of life, if we remain open to the beauty that is all around us. And nature can be one of our greatest teachers.
What a profound lesson from such a simple flower.
Thank you, my sweet little morning glories!
Veronica Hay
Veronica Hay is an inspirational writer and author of In A Dream, You Can Do Anything, An Extraordinary Collection Of Words. Her work inspires others to be more of who they really are. For more insights and inspiration you can visit her website at: www.insightsandinspirations.com or email her at veronicahay@telus.net
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Yard Sale
The leaves on the old maple tree I have loved since the first time I climbed its branches more than 40 years ago had transformed into extraordinarily radiant shades of red and yellow this year. I took a deep breath of the crisp, invigorating fall air, then hammered the signpost into the ground.
Yard Sale
Saturday 8 a.m. – 4 p.m.
As I stepped back to view the sign, wondering how we were going to make it through tomorrow, I heard Mrs. MacKenzie’s voice, plain as day: “Life does not put things in front of you that you can’t handle.” Instinctively, I looked to see if she was standing at the front door, knowing full well that was impossible. “Sometimes I’ve believed in six impossible things before breakfast,” came to me as her response to my thoughts.
In that moment, I wondered if I’d fallen down a rabbit hole into a wonderland of my own. Some things in life, however, can never be explained, and so I headed back up the walkway and into the old brick house, where I found Julia sitting on a familiar black and brass trunk in the middle of the family room, surrounded by stacks of boxes we had packed earlier that week for her to take home.
“Hey, Jules, is that the treasure chest?”
“Later,” she smiled, knowing I would get lost in time if we dared open it now. “Let’s finish the kitchen.”
Clearing out the contents of one’s family home isn’t easy for many children; yet I knew this past week had been particularly painful for Julia. I knew because I had been her best friend since first grade. Not always the closest, but always the best. For the last 25 years, we had lived on opposite coasts, but geographical distance could never break the lifelong bond formed here way back when. What I hadn’t really been prepared for was how painful this would be for me.
Julia had been an only child, though not by choice, and as the years passed, Dr. and Mrs. MacKenzie unofficially “adopted” me as the second child they would never have, loving me and advising me as their own, especially after my own father was tragically killed in an accident, and Alzheimer’s took my mother when I was barely in my 20s. The MacKenzies were always there for Jules, and they had always been there for me.
Model American parents, Dr. and Mrs. MacKenzie believed in the “think positive” counsel of Norman Vincent Peale and passed that on, forever encouraging us to trust. “Remember, anything is possible,” Mrs. MacKenzie would always remind us. They discovered universal truths in old adages and always offered just the right bits of wisdom in times of turmoil and uncertainty. “Life,” as Dr. MacKenzie was fond of saying, “is conspiring in your favor.”
But, as they also taught us, time marches on. A little more than two years ago, Dr. MacKenzie passed away. Then just two months ago, Mrs. MacKenzie lost her battle to breast cancer.
Now, together again, Julia and I were doing a lot more than sorting through stuff. We were sharing another turning point, saying good-bye to what had always been our shelter from the storms of life, and to her parents, who had made it so.
We managed to quickly separate out the heirloom pieces that Julia would have shipped to her home in New York, as well the items the MacKenzies had bequeathed to me, and spent the rest of the week going through cabinets and drawers, cubbyholes, the basement and attic, finding no small amount of treasures . . . old LIFE, LOOK, and The Saturday Evening Post magazines . . . a very cool, shiny-like-new Hamilton Beach blender . . . hand-crocheted doilies beyond imagination . . . Dr. MacKenzie’s set of Craftsman tools . . . Jules’ favorite stuffed teddy bear . . . until finally the last of it was sorted and boxed or marked “yard sale” or “Goodwill.”
When all was done, we gravitated back to the family room, out of need, as much as habit. For a few long minutes, we just sat on the floor, in silence, leaning against the big black and brass trunk. So much of our childhood had been lived in this house, and especially in this room. Then, the finality of it all hit us both, and we let the tears flow.
“We grew up here,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Watched President Kennedy’s funeral in here,” Julia said softly.
“Met the Beatles on ‘Ed Sullivan’ here,” I remembered.
“Celebrated our Sweet 16 birthdays here.” “Dreamed our dreams here.”
We turned around and opened the latch of the trunk. The smell of cedar drifted up. Inside, we found the treasure — photo albums. We pulled out the oversized, gold-trimmed brown album we knew contained photos from our teenage years and sat down to flash back through the times of our lives.
Every important moment it seemed was documented inside . . . the silly picture Dr. MacKenzie had taken of Jules and me in our Beatle wigs “playing” broom guitars . . . our graduation day pictures from grade school . . . junior high . . . high school and college . . . snapshots of us in our prom dresses, complete with those unwieldy hand corsages . . . the picture I took of the video image on the television when Neil Armstrong set foot on the Moon . . . the Mustang convertible we used to drive to school . . . the friends . . . the boyfriends. We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, reliving the moments of our lives, crying, laughing, remembering, and realizing that life is what happened while we were busy making other plans, as one of the minstrels of our generation had put it.
“Before you got here last week, I spent some time with the family who bought the house,” Julia said, as we were getting ready to finally call it a day. “They’ve got two daughters. The younger one reminded me of you — the first thing she did was climb up into the old maple tree.”
The next morning came early and so did the first of the bargain hunters.
“Okay, everything is outside now, except these boxes, which are going with you, right?” I asked Julia, pointing to the last stack of boxes in the family room.
“Nah, that stuff can go, too,” Julia said calmly. “I’ve realized over the last few days that Mom and Dad — and that Italian novelist, Cesare Pavese — were right. We don’t remember days, we remember moments. And our moments are really the only important things, the only things that can’t be replaced,” she added, opening the big black and brass trunk and pulling out the gold-trimmed brown photo album. “Would you take care of this for us?” she asked, handing me the album.
“Jules . . . yes,” was all I could muster right then. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and went to place the album in my suitcase.
Then, we each picked up one of the last few boxes and headed out to the front yard. “Everything goes,” Jules announced to the folks wandering around the lawn. Turning to me, she added with a smile: “Everything but the photographs.”
Indeed, those were our “moments,” never to be sold.
Courtesy of Lifetouch
Monday, November 3, 2008
16 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School
16 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School
Published by Henrik Edberg April 2nd, 2008 in Productivity,
Relaxation, Personal Development, People Skills, Career & Work and
Success.
I am 28 now. I don't think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned
over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a
self-improvement class in school. And in some ways there probably was.
Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably
spoke about in class. But I forgot about them or didn't pay attention.
Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. Or just
been too far outside my reality at the time for me to accept and use.
But I still think that taking a few hours from all those German
language classes and use them for some personal development classes
would have been a good idea. Perhaps for just an hour a week in high
school. It would probably be useful for many students and on a larger
scale quite helpful for society in general.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just
would like to have known about earlier).
1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The
80/20 rule – also known as The Pareto Principle – basically says that
80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of
your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to
do as you may think.
You can just drop – or vastly decrease the time you spend on – a whole
bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on
those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfilment and
so on.
2. Parkinson's Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task
will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you
set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you'll
come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to
grow more difficult and you'll spend more and more time trying to come
up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an
hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week)
to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions
and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on
the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the
value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may
wind up with a better result because you haven't overcomplicated or
overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to
improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you
can totally focus on what's in front of you instead of having some
looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.
3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and
low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to
batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able
to do them quicker because there is less "start-up time" compared to
if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully
engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean
your desk / answer today's emails / do the dishes / make three calls /
write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.
4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counter-intuitive thing. There is often an idea
that someone should give us something or do something for us before we
give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way.
And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness,
opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because
over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice
to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.
5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very
little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else
to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot
of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the
one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This
not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable
since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of
feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.
6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As
you grow a bit older, you learn from - for example - school to not
make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of
being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean,
what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would
laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that
it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don't
care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry
about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes
and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over.
Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and
get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike.
If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that
way - instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups
often do – you would probably experience a lot more interesting
things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.
7. Don't beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I
think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much.
But it's a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and
unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It's best
to try to drop this habit as much as you can.
8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all
want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward
conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport.
This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your
best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind
instead of the nervous one.
This works surprisingly well. You can read more about it in How to
Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport.
9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class
but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that's a
shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn
about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to
allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on.
It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don't
want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your
focus on what's important and to help you take action that will move
your closer to toward where you want to go. Another way is just to use
external reminders such as pieces of paper where you can, for
instance, write down a few things from this post like "Give value" or
"Assume rapport". And then you can put those pieces of paper on your
fridge, bathroom mirror etc.
10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps
that "you need to change your attitude!". That is a nice piece of
advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy
to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old
attitude.
But the thing that I've discovered the last few years is that if you
change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for
instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start
to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You
may think to yourself "why haven't I thought about things this way
before?".
When you change you attitude you change what you focus on. And all
things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to
give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an
insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just
think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is
mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things
you want to see. And that makes you "right" a lot of the time. And
perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun
things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real – instead of analysing such
a concept in your mind - you'll be surprised.
You may want to read more about this topic in Take the Positivity Challenge!
11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because
it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if
someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two
is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would
probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for
keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make
other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since
emotions are contagious.
12. Don't compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel
good about yourself ("I've got a new bike!"). But by doing that it
also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more
than you ("Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!"). And so you
don't feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself
to others you let the world around control how you feel about
yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how
far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown.
It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a
lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.
13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They
are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will
most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most
often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how
little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually
happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from
your thoughts.
14. Don't take things too seriously.
It's very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you
worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big
problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often
just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little
more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an
extension of that; your life.
15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it's like a leaking bucket.
Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don't make
a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your
focus on what you want. Read more about it in Why You Should Write
Things Down.
16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can
learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to
grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even
better than a success because it teaches you something totally new,
something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a "negative experience" ask yourself: where is the
opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative
experience can – with time – help you create many very positive
experiences.
From "The Positivity Blog"
Published by Henrik Edberg April 2nd, 2008 in Productivity,
Relaxation, Personal Development, People Skills, Career & Work and
Success.
I am 28 now. I don't think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned
over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a
self-improvement class in school. And in some ways there probably was.
Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably
spoke about in class. But I forgot about them or didn't pay attention.
Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. Or just
been too far outside my reality at the time for me to accept and use.
But I still think that taking a few hours from all those German
language classes and use them for some personal development classes
would have been a good idea. Perhaps for just an hour a week in high
school. It would probably be useful for many students and on a larger
scale quite helpful for society in general.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just
would like to have known about earlier).
1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The
80/20 rule – also known as The Pareto Principle – basically says that
80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of
your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to
do as you may think.
You can just drop – or vastly decrease the time you spend on – a whole
bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on
those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfilment and
so on.
2. Parkinson's Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task
will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you
set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you'll
come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to
grow more difficult and you'll spend more and more time trying to come
up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an
hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week)
to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions
and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on
the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the
value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may
wind up with a better result because you haven't overcomplicated or
overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to
improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you
can totally focus on what's in front of you instead of having some
looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.
3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and
low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to
batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able
to do them quicker because there is less "start-up time" compared to
if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully
engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean
your desk / answer today's emails / do the dishes / make three calls /
write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.
4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counter-intuitive thing. There is often an idea
that someone should give us something or do something for us before we
give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way.
And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness,
opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because
over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice
to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.
5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very
little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else
to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot
of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the
one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This
not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable
since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of
feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.
6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As
you grow a bit older, you learn from - for example - school to not
make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of
being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean,
what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would
laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that
it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don't
care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry
about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes
and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over.
Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and
get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike.
If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that
way - instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups
often do – you would probably experience a lot more interesting
things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.
7. Don't beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I
think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much.
But it's a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and
unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It's best
to try to drop this habit as much as you can.
8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all
want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward
conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport.
This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your
best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind
instead of the nervous one.
This works surprisingly well. You can read more about it in How to
Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport.
9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class
but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that's a
shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn
about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to
allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on.
It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don't
want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your
focus on what's important and to help you take action that will move
your closer to toward where you want to go. Another way is just to use
external reminders such as pieces of paper where you can, for
instance, write down a few things from this post like "Give value" or
"Assume rapport". And then you can put those pieces of paper on your
fridge, bathroom mirror etc.
10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps
that "you need to change your attitude!". That is a nice piece of
advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy
to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old
attitude.
But the thing that I've discovered the last few years is that if you
change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for
instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start
to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You
may think to yourself "why haven't I thought about things this way
before?".
When you change you attitude you change what you focus on. And all
things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to
give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an
insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just
think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is
mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things
you want to see. And that makes you "right" a lot of the time. And
perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun
things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real – instead of analysing such
a concept in your mind - you'll be surprised.
You may want to read more about this topic in Take the Positivity Challenge!
11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because
it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if
someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two
is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would
probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for
keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make
other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since
emotions are contagious.
12. Don't compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel
good about yourself ("I've got a new bike!"). But by doing that it
also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more
than you ("Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!"). And so you
don't feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself
to others you let the world around control how you feel about
yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how
far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown.
It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a
lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.
13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They
are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will
most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most
often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how
little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually
happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from
your thoughts.
14. Don't take things too seriously.
It's very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you
worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big
problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often
just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little
more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an
extension of that; your life.
15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it's like a leaking bucket.
Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don't make
a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your
focus on what you want. Read more about it in Why You Should Write
Things Down.
16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can
learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to
grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even
better than a success because it teaches you something totally new,
something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a "negative experience" ask yourself: where is the
opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative
experience can – with time – help you create many very positive
experiences.
From "The Positivity Blog"
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
How Much to Give
BE SURE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT FROM LIFE AND DOUBLY SURE OF WHAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE IN RETURN.
Examine the lives of successful people, and you will find that they have paid a price that is in direct proportion to the amount of success they have earned. Close examination will almost always reveal years of study and preparation before great success is achieved. This principle is consistent in virtually every field of individual achievement-in the arts, medicine, science, or business. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily. As you consider your own goals, also consider what you are willing to sacrifice for what you expect to receive. You should be prepared to give generously of your time and talents long before expecting a return on your investment. Many "overnight successes" labored in obscurity for many years before they were finally recognized for their achievements.
Examine the lives of successful people, and you will find that they have paid a price that is in direct proportion to the amount of success they have earned. Close examination will almost always reveal years of study and preparation before great success is achieved. This principle is consistent in virtually every field of individual achievement-in the arts, medicine, science, or business. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily. As you consider your own goals, also consider what you are willing to sacrifice for what you expect to receive. You should be prepared to give generously of your time and talents long before expecting a return on your investment. Many "overnight successes" labored in obscurity for many years before they were finally recognized for their achievements.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Success Tips from a Puzzle Master
by Barbara Winter
For the past year or so, my granddaughter Zoe has been known (to her family) as The Puzzle Champ of Capistrano Court. She frequently dazzles the adults around her with her skill as putting a puzzle together in record time. I've studied her technique and theorized that her success is due to two things. When she's working a puzzle, she's completely focused. She knows her goal and heads for it. Her secret weapon, I thought, was her unwillingness to spend time with something that's not working.
The moment she realizes a piece she's selected doesn't go into the chosen spot, she discards it and moves on. I've never seen her struggling to make a piece fit in the wrong place.
Zoe's puzzle techniques are equally useful for our business success. Staying focused is always critical, but abandoning what's not working may be even more important.
Now at the ripe old age of 4, she is whipping together 100 piece puzzles that are quite complex. As I sat watching her the other day, I asked her why she thought she was so good at doing jigsaws. She gave me one of her patient looks and said, "Practice. I practice alot."
It's all too easy for adults to forget what Zoe already knows: nothing important gets done without on-going, long-term commitment to practice. In fact, the most successful entrepreneurs--or athletes or musicians or hairdressers--know that it's only when they make the things that matter most a daily priority, will they evolve, grow and improve. Focus. Don't waste time on what's not working. Practice. Just like The Puzzle Champ of Capistrano Court.
For the past year or so, my granddaughter Zoe has been known (to her family) as The Puzzle Champ of Capistrano Court. She frequently dazzles the adults around her with her skill as putting a puzzle together in record time. I've studied her technique and theorized that her success is due to two things. When she's working a puzzle, she's completely focused. She knows her goal and heads for it. Her secret weapon, I thought, was her unwillingness to spend time with something that's not working.
The moment she realizes a piece she's selected doesn't go into the chosen spot, she discards it and moves on. I've never seen her struggling to make a piece fit in the wrong place.
Zoe's puzzle techniques are equally useful for our business success. Staying focused is always critical, but abandoning what's not working may be even more important.
Now at the ripe old age of 4, she is whipping together 100 piece puzzles that are quite complex. As I sat watching her the other day, I asked her why she thought she was so good at doing jigsaws. She gave me one of her patient looks and said, "Practice. I practice alot."
It's all too easy for adults to forget what Zoe already knows: nothing important gets done without on-going, long-term commitment to practice. In fact, the most successful entrepreneurs--or athletes or musicians or hairdressers--know that it's only when they make the things that matter most a daily priority, will they evolve, grow and improve. Focus. Don't waste time on what's not working. Practice. Just like The Puzzle Champ of Capistrano Court.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Pay Your Dues
TRYING TO GET WITHOUT FIRST GIVING IS AS FRUITLESS AS TRYING TO REAP WITHOUT HAVING SOWN.
The Bible states that we reap what we sow. The most fertile soil in the world is barren unless seeds have been properly planted, cultivated, and nurtured. The relationship between giving and getting is constant in everything you do. To succeed in any endeavor, you must first invest a generous portion of your time and talents if you expect ever to earn a return on your investment. You have to give before you get. It’s all a matter of attitude. You may occasionally be disappointed if you are not rewarded for your efforts, but if you demand payment for your services before you render them, you can expect a lifetime of disappointment and frustration. If you cheerfully do your best before asking for any compensation, you can expect a bountiful harvest of the greatest rewards life has to offer. - Napoleon Hill
The Bible states that we reap what we sow. The most fertile soil in the world is barren unless seeds have been properly planted, cultivated, and nurtured. The relationship between giving and getting is constant in everything you do. To succeed in any endeavor, you must first invest a generous portion of your time and talents if you expect ever to earn a return on your investment. You have to give before you get. It’s all a matter of attitude. You may occasionally be disappointed if you are not rewarded for your efforts, but if you demand payment for your services before you render them, you can expect a lifetime of disappointment and frustration. If you cheerfully do your best before asking for any compensation, you can expect a bountiful harvest of the greatest rewards life has to offer. - Napoleon Hill
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Flip your Thoughts - The Key Habit for Success
This guest post was written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits.
It was just a short 20 months ago when I discovered a very simple key that allowed me to finally quit smoking and become a runner. It was such an easy but powerful key that I then used it to eat healthier, double my income, become an early riser, run a marathon, become a vegan, lose weight, reduce my debt, save money, write a novel, complete a triathlon, and start a successful blog. What was that simple key to success? It was this: flip your thoughts.
Before I learned that, I would always start a goal with a lot of enthusiasm, and then run out of steam and eventually fail. After that initial burst of enthusiasm, the negative thoughts would set in on me: You can’t do this. It’s too hard. I’m too tired. It’s painful. Give in to the easier stuff.
Then I learned to flip my thoughts, and those negative thoughts became positive ones: You can do this. It’s hard, but the reward will be well worth it. You’re tired, but if you do this you can rest afterwards. It’s painful, so let’s take it a little easier, and focus on the benefits. There’s easier things you could be doing, but how will you feel afterwards?
Take any negative thought that hampers your goal, and find a way to flip it into a positive thought. Are you focusing on the difficulties of a goal or task? Focus instead on the benefits. Are you focusing on why you can’t do something? Focus instead on how you can, and why you should.
Actually, there is another key that must come first: you need to become aware of your thoughts. Many times we are thinking negative thoughts, but we don’t realize it. Start any goal by monitoring your thoughts. If you’re going to go running, for example, be aware of the thoughts that tell you to stop, that tell you that it’s too hard. Spend a day or two just being aware of those thoughts — and then try to flip them.
It’s a skill that takes practice, but trust me, if you get good at this skill, it will unlock any goal you set out to achieve. Let’s take a look at how to apply this key to some common goals. Some of these examples might seem corny and overly optimistic, but trust me, positive self-talk really works.
Eating healthier. Let’s say you’re trying to eat less fatty foods and trying to eat more fruits and vegetables instead. And you notice a common thought in your head: I really want that fried chicken. I really want that rich dessert. It looks so good and delicious! What do you do? Flip that thought: That fried chicken will clog my arteries and make me fat. So will that dessert. But those cut up fruits and veggies look delicious, and refreshing, and they will help me lose my gut! Think of the negative things about the fatty foods, and the positive things and the benefits of the healthy foods.
Exercise. The hardest part is actually getting out and starting the exercise. You might think: I’m too lazy right now. I don’t feel like it. I’d rather check my email. Instead, flip your thoughts: Exercise isn’t hard. Anyways, I don’t need to do too much today. I’m just going to put on my shoes and jog for 5 minutes, and see if I feel like doing more from there. And it will help me lose that gut!
Frugality. Monitor your spending urges, which typically come if you’re at a store or a mall or you’re shopping online. Your thoughts might be: I really want that gadget (or pair of shoes or whatever). I gotta have it. Now flip your thoughts: I don’t really need that right now, and it’s going to put me over my budget. Instead, I want to see if I can go a month without spending on anything unnecessary, so I can pay off my debts and be free of that burden!
Happiness. Negative thoughts are what get us down and spoil our happiness. There are so many in this area that it’s impossible to name them all, but again, learn to become aware of them … and then flip them. An example: I am such a failure. My life isn’t going anywhere. Flip those thoughts: Actually, I’ve done a lot in my life, and I have a lot to be thankful for (and here you should think of everything you have to be thankful for, including your material comforts, any loved ones, your health, or just life itself). And while I might not be doing as well as I’d like, I am going to take positive action and seek new opportunities. I can make this happen.
Career success. Negative thoughts are our main obstacles to success. Just one example: My supervisor hates me. I hate him and I’m not going anywhere in this job. Now try flipping those thoughts: I can impress my supervisor and his supervisors will a couple of stellar projects that will bring major benefits to this company. I’m going to take the initiative to start these projects and perform amazingly. And while I’m doing that, I’m going to look for other opportunities to get jobs that will give me the advancement I want.
Waking early. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. every day, and I’ve learned to love the early morning hours (read more about this here). While rising early isn’t for everyone, some people really want to wake earlier, but they have problems finding the motivation when the alarm goes off. Here’s a common negative thought: I’m so darn tired. I can just sleep another 20 minutes and there won’t be any harm. But try flipping those thoughts instead: I’m going to become an early riser and greet the day with energy! There are a few things I really want to do this morning, so if I get up now, I can actually get them done!
It was just a short 20 months ago when I discovered a very simple key that allowed me to finally quit smoking and become a runner. It was such an easy but powerful key that I then used it to eat healthier, double my income, become an early riser, run a marathon, become a vegan, lose weight, reduce my debt, save money, write a novel, complete a triathlon, and start a successful blog. What was that simple key to success? It was this: flip your thoughts.
Before I learned that, I would always start a goal with a lot of enthusiasm, and then run out of steam and eventually fail. After that initial burst of enthusiasm, the negative thoughts would set in on me: You can’t do this. It’s too hard. I’m too tired. It’s painful. Give in to the easier stuff.
Then I learned to flip my thoughts, and those negative thoughts became positive ones: You can do this. It’s hard, but the reward will be well worth it. You’re tired, but if you do this you can rest afterwards. It’s painful, so let’s take it a little easier, and focus on the benefits. There’s easier things you could be doing, but how will you feel afterwards?
Take any negative thought that hampers your goal, and find a way to flip it into a positive thought. Are you focusing on the difficulties of a goal or task? Focus instead on the benefits. Are you focusing on why you can’t do something? Focus instead on how you can, and why you should.
Actually, there is another key that must come first: you need to become aware of your thoughts. Many times we are thinking negative thoughts, but we don’t realize it. Start any goal by monitoring your thoughts. If you’re going to go running, for example, be aware of the thoughts that tell you to stop, that tell you that it’s too hard. Spend a day or two just being aware of those thoughts — and then try to flip them.
It’s a skill that takes practice, but trust me, if you get good at this skill, it will unlock any goal you set out to achieve. Let’s take a look at how to apply this key to some common goals. Some of these examples might seem corny and overly optimistic, but trust me, positive self-talk really works.
Eating healthier. Let’s say you’re trying to eat less fatty foods and trying to eat more fruits and vegetables instead. And you notice a common thought in your head: I really want that fried chicken. I really want that rich dessert. It looks so good and delicious! What do you do? Flip that thought: That fried chicken will clog my arteries and make me fat. So will that dessert. But those cut up fruits and veggies look delicious, and refreshing, and they will help me lose my gut! Think of the negative things about the fatty foods, and the positive things and the benefits of the healthy foods.
Exercise. The hardest part is actually getting out and starting the exercise. You might think: I’m too lazy right now. I don’t feel like it. I’d rather check my email. Instead, flip your thoughts: Exercise isn’t hard. Anyways, I don’t need to do too much today. I’m just going to put on my shoes and jog for 5 minutes, and see if I feel like doing more from there. And it will help me lose that gut!
Frugality. Monitor your spending urges, which typically come if you’re at a store or a mall or you’re shopping online. Your thoughts might be: I really want that gadget (or pair of shoes or whatever). I gotta have it. Now flip your thoughts: I don’t really need that right now, and it’s going to put me over my budget. Instead, I want to see if I can go a month without spending on anything unnecessary, so I can pay off my debts and be free of that burden!
Happiness. Negative thoughts are what get us down and spoil our happiness. There are so many in this area that it’s impossible to name them all, but again, learn to become aware of them … and then flip them. An example: I am such a failure. My life isn’t going anywhere. Flip those thoughts: Actually, I’ve done a lot in my life, and I have a lot to be thankful for (and here you should think of everything you have to be thankful for, including your material comforts, any loved ones, your health, or just life itself). And while I might not be doing as well as I’d like, I am going to take positive action and seek new opportunities. I can make this happen.
Career success. Negative thoughts are our main obstacles to success. Just one example: My supervisor hates me. I hate him and I’m not going anywhere in this job. Now try flipping those thoughts: I can impress my supervisor and his supervisors will a couple of stellar projects that will bring major benefits to this company. I’m going to take the initiative to start these projects and perform amazingly. And while I’m doing that, I’m going to look for other opportunities to get jobs that will give me the advancement I want.
Waking early. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. every day, and I’ve learned to love the early morning hours (read more about this here). While rising early isn’t for everyone, some people really want to wake earlier, but they have problems finding the motivation when the alarm goes off. Here’s a common negative thought: I’m so darn tired. I can just sleep another 20 minutes and there won’t be any harm. But try flipping those thoughts instead: I’m going to become an early riser and greet the day with energy! There are a few things I really want to do this morning, so if I get up now, I can actually get them done!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Time Is NOW
Hello Everyone and Happy Tuesday!
This was not the blog that I had planned to write today, I had an experience a few nights ago that really inspired me to change my direction a bit (Warning: I am at home from school over the summer, so you never know what you are going to get).
Anyway, I had dinner plans out with friends. We went to this local fondue restaurant, which is an experience that I absolutely love (although how they can charge those prices for a place and you still have to cook your own food is beyond me!). So, if you have ever eaten at a fondue restaurant, you know that it can be a very long experience since you have to cook every single morsel of food yourself. If you haven't been to a fondue restaurant, let me give you some advice - only go with people that you really like because conversation is a must. As we sat there during our 5 hour dinner and a few glasses of wine, there was plenty of time for conversation. In fact, everyone at the table can just about share every live experience they have ever had over a 5 hour dinner. So, as always, the topic of the economy came up. WOW! I am sure that is a conversation that all of you have had with your friends, but it really is amazing to hear how much the economy - especially gas prices - have changed just about everything that we do. I knew I was cutting way back on everything, but didn't realize the magnitude to which people were altering their lives due to the elevated price of gas alone. One of my friends said that she was thinking of leaving her long time position with a company downtown so she could find something closer to her house. Another, a mother of 2, said she was so looking forward to the end of summer so she could stop driving her kids all over town for their summer sporting events. Everyone I know has already dumped their SUVs and high-end sports cars in lieu of more practical cars that are either hybrid or economy to save on gas. This dinner, 1 year ago, would have been filled with conversations of summer vacations, new cars, amazing purchases, remodeling plans, etc. But this year, no one is taking a vacation. The new car purchases are out of necessity rather than desire and everyone is holding back on spending at all costs - only the necessities!
Then, one of my friends said something that changed the entire direction of the conversation. He said, "WOW. this must be an incredible time for your business. I can't imagine that people aren't knocking your doors down looking for a way to make additional income. I have seen your ladies, and I know they must be making a killing right now selling and recruiting in this economy!" Of course it was then that I went and got a stack of bar napkins and a pen so I could jot down my thoughts so I could write this blog.
I hope we don't get stuck in the mindset that when the economy is weak, and prices are high that we are going to suffer a valley in our Heritage Makers income as well. We have so many things to offer women and men today - especially when the economy is weak.
Number 1 - we offer an amazing career opportunity for full time and part time jobs that can bring in as much supplemental income as a person desires. All too often I hear of people who are recruiting people so they can get the product at a discount. That is totally the wrong way of thinking about it. We need to be selling this career as a high potential for income rather than trying to recruit people to get a discount on their products. The opportunity to earn extra income from sharing and selling products that they believe in is one of the easiest ways make money – not to mention one of the most fun ways. I know so many people who are taking part-time jobs either at night or on the weekends just to afford the things that their full time job used to cover. People need to hear about "ATM - Anytime Money" positioning. We do have what people need right now. Don't be afraid to share it. It could be the smartest investment a person could ever make and one of the best things you could ever do to help someone. You have to admit, holding a couple of Celebrations is a lot more fun than getting a part time job as a weekend sales clerk at your local department store! And just think how little gas prices will matter when you reach the level to get your car allowance!
Number 2 - we have incredible products that transcend time and money – we offer people a way to preserve their heritage! I had a celebration last night and it was amazing – the women cried twice when I read “Connor Can” and the book my daughter made for me – THEY GET IT! They understand how important those words are in people’s lives. My host and the lady that she booked a party from were there and I hardly had to do any talking – they kept going on and on about how their dad, and their daughter felt when they opened the gift book that was made for them – I couldn’t have coached them better!
Number 3 – Another testimonial came from a person who has scrapbooked for years – she told the group that “This sure beats putting all that time, energy, and money into making those scrapbooks. Now I can sit down with no mess and no mistakes, and create books for all my family members. I will never scrapbook again.” Wow – how do you think this made the ladies feel who were seeing this for the first time feel?
Now is the time to talk to people about heritage. Now is the time to set up a little workshop in your home – even if you just have one computer and a scanner. Offer some bottled water and a little chocolate and invite people to come and work on their projects. I have been doing this consistently for a year and a half, and I cannot believe how many people are actually DOING their projects!
I also have a large number of people asking me to make their books for them. When we are at a celebration and they start saying that they love the idea, but where would they find the time, I just whip out my big Ziploc bag with a pad of post-it notes in it and my price sheet and tell them “Don’t worry – I will make your book for you. You gather your photos, put a post-it on the back with what you want to say, number them in the order you want them and give me a call. We will plan your book, I will scan, create it, and we will proof it together.” They are more than happy to pay for this service.
Again, all too often, I hear of people who are worried about asking for the sale with the economy the way that it is. Let me tell you, women are still
paying big bucks for the things they really care about with or without a weak economy. If we don't market ourselves as a retail channel and sell our products at their full retail price, we are not only cheating ourselves,
but we are diminishing the value of our brand (and when I say "brand" I mean YOU, INC. – in the consumer's eye's YOU are Heritage Makers). Economy or no economy, people still want to preserve their photos and stories! What makes it even better, is that they have the convenience of buying them from you – their personal consultant! No more running to the scrapbook store or photo processor, wasting gas. They can get them from you or order them online via their very own studio and have the convenience of home delivery and the expertise of their very own Consultant.
A good friend of mine who has been a long-time mentor in my professional life gave me some great advice. She said to me, "learn to own your power". What she meant by this was take control of the opportunity you have to market yourself and your talents, believe in what you have to offer and allow yourself to be successful. You have what people need - plain and simple. People WANT the best products at the best prices and they NEED to make supplemental income to off-set the crazy increases in today's cost of living. So, I would like to pass along those words of wisdom to all of you – OWN YOUR POWER. Believe in the opportunity that you have to offer. By sharing what you have with those around you, you can literally change their lives and improve their income. That's powerful!
(portions of this essay were inspired by other sources)
This was not the blog that I had planned to write today, I had an experience a few nights ago that really inspired me to change my direction a bit (Warning: I am at home from school over the summer, so you never know what you are going to get).
Anyway, I had dinner plans out with friends. We went to this local fondue restaurant, which is an experience that I absolutely love (although how they can charge those prices for a place and you still have to cook your own food is beyond me!). So, if you have ever eaten at a fondue restaurant, you know that it can be a very long experience since you have to cook every single morsel of food yourself. If you haven't been to a fondue restaurant, let me give you some advice - only go with people that you really like because conversation is a must. As we sat there during our 5 hour dinner and a few glasses of wine, there was plenty of time for conversation. In fact, everyone at the table can just about share every live experience they have ever had over a 5 hour dinner. So, as always, the topic of the economy came up. WOW! I am sure that is a conversation that all of you have had with your friends, but it really is amazing to hear how much the economy - especially gas prices - have changed just about everything that we do. I knew I was cutting way back on everything, but didn't realize the magnitude to which people were altering their lives due to the elevated price of gas alone. One of my friends said that she was thinking of leaving her long time position with a company downtown so she could find something closer to her house. Another, a mother of 2, said she was so looking forward to the end of summer so she could stop driving her kids all over town for their summer sporting events. Everyone I know has already dumped their SUVs and high-end sports cars in lieu of more practical cars that are either hybrid or economy to save on gas. This dinner, 1 year ago, would have been filled with conversations of summer vacations, new cars, amazing purchases, remodeling plans, etc. But this year, no one is taking a vacation. The new car purchases are out of necessity rather than desire and everyone is holding back on spending at all costs - only the necessities!
Then, one of my friends said something that changed the entire direction of the conversation. He said, "WOW. this must be an incredible time for your business. I can't imagine that people aren't knocking your doors down looking for a way to make additional income. I have seen your ladies, and I know they must be making a killing right now selling and recruiting in this economy!" Of course it was then that I went and got a stack of bar napkins and a pen so I could jot down my thoughts so I could write this blog.
I hope we don't get stuck in the mindset that when the economy is weak, and prices are high that we are going to suffer a valley in our Heritage Makers income as well. We have so many things to offer women and men today - especially when the economy is weak.
Number 1 - we offer an amazing career opportunity for full time and part time jobs that can bring in as much supplemental income as a person desires. All too often I hear of people who are recruiting people so they can get the product at a discount. That is totally the wrong way of thinking about it. We need to be selling this career as a high potential for income rather than trying to recruit people to get a discount on their products. The opportunity to earn extra income from sharing and selling products that they believe in is one of the easiest ways make money – not to mention one of the most fun ways. I know so many people who are taking part-time jobs either at night or on the weekends just to afford the things that their full time job used to cover. People need to hear about "ATM - Anytime Money" positioning. We do have what people need right now. Don't be afraid to share it. It could be the smartest investment a person could ever make and one of the best things you could ever do to help someone. You have to admit, holding a couple of Celebrations is a lot more fun than getting a part time job as a weekend sales clerk at your local department store! And just think how little gas prices will matter when you reach the level to get your car allowance!
Number 2 - we have incredible products that transcend time and money – we offer people a way to preserve their heritage! I had a celebration last night and it was amazing – the women cried twice when I read “Connor Can” and the book my daughter made for me – THEY GET IT! They understand how important those words are in people’s lives. My host and the lady that she booked a party from were there and I hardly had to do any talking – they kept going on and on about how their dad, and their daughter felt when they opened the gift book that was made for them – I couldn’t have coached them better!
Number 3 – Another testimonial came from a person who has scrapbooked for years – she told the group that “This sure beats putting all that time, energy, and money into making those scrapbooks. Now I can sit down with no mess and no mistakes, and create books for all my family members. I will never scrapbook again.” Wow – how do you think this made the ladies feel who were seeing this for the first time feel?
Now is the time to talk to people about heritage. Now is the time to set up a little workshop in your home – even if you just have one computer and a scanner. Offer some bottled water and a little chocolate and invite people to come and work on their projects. I have been doing this consistently for a year and a half, and I cannot believe how many people are actually DOING their projects!
I also have a large number of people asking me to make their books for them. When we are at a celebration and they start saying that they love the idea, but where would they find the time, I just whip out my big Ziploc bag with a pad of post-it notes in it and my price sheet and tell them “Don’t worry – I will make your book for you. You gather your photos, put a post-it on the back with what you want to say, number them in the order you want them and give me a call. We will plan your book, I will scan, create it, and we will proof it together.” They are more than happy to pay for this service.
Again, all too often, I hear of people who are worried about asking for the sale with the economy the way that it is. Let me tell you, women are still
paying big bucks for the things they really care about with or without a weak economy. If we don't market ourselves as a retail channel and sell our products at their full retail price, we are not only cheating ourselves,
but we are diminishing the value of our brand (and when I say "brand" I mean YOU, INC. – in the consumer's eye's YOU are Heritage Makers). Economy or no economy, people still want to preserve their photos and stories! What makes it even better, is that they have the convenience of buying them from you – their personal consultant! No more running to the scrapbook store or photo processor, wasting gas. They can get them from you or order them online via their very own studio and have the convenience of home delivery and the expertise of their very own Consultant.
A good friend of mine who has been a long-time mentor in my professional life gave me some great advice. She said to me, "learn to own your power". What she meant by this was take control of the opportunity you have to market yourself and your talents, believe in what you have to offer and allow yourself to be successful. You have what people need - plain and simple. People WANT the best products at the best prices and they NEED to make supplemental income to off-set the crazy increases in today's cost of living. So, I would like to pass along those words of wisdom to all of you – OWN YOUR POWER. Believe in the opportunity that you have to offer. By sharing what you have with those around you, you can literally change their lives and improve their income. That's powerful!
(portions of this essay were inspired by other sources)
Monday, June 16, 2008
The REAL How to Get Things Done in 1 Minute
I finished reading David Allen’s unofficial productivity bible, “Getting Things Done” (GTD) about 2 and a half months ago. Since then I’ve made an asserted effort to implement his suggestions. The fundamental goal was to simply increase my daily rate of productive output.
I found that some of David Allen’s suggestions were instantly applicable, some needed a little tweaking to better suit my needs and others were a bit too rigid and were thus substituted for alternative methods. After 2 months of fine-tuning I’m happy to report that I have implemented a productivity system that works really well.
That’s what this short article is about. A crystal clear, 1 minute read on increasing your productivity by using the slightly modified GTD-based methods that have worked for me. Let’s get to it…
1. Create 1 Inbox (Entry Point) for All New Tasks – This should be the only place you record the new things you must get done and the only place you need to reference when you are ready to review them. I use my Outlook inbox as my GTD inbox. This will work well for anyone like me who receives a large quantity of tasks via email. If a task comes in any other format (snail mail, face to face meeting, phone call, etc.), I immediately send myself one email with a descriptive subject and body (more info below) for each new task.
2. Create “Work”, “Personal” and “Someday Maybe” Folders – I created 3 subfolders under my main Outlook inbox for this purpose. All work related tasks that must be done will be filed under “Work” and all personal tasks that must be done will be filed under “Personal”. Any less urgent tasks or miscellaneous ideas will be filed under “Someday Maybe” (these are open ended tasks like “learn Spanish”).
3. Completely Empty Your Inbox Every Morning – I completely empty my inbox every single morning without failure. This entails deleting any garbage emails, instantly completing the open tasks that take less than 2 minutes to resolve (more info below) and then filing all the remaining tasks into their appropriate subfolders.
4. Instantly Complete All 2-Minute (or less) Tasks – This is the most useful GTD method in the whole book. Every time you review new tasks (or new small parts of bigger tasks) ask yourself this question: Will this task take me longer than two minutes to complete if I start on it now? If the answer is no, do it now.
5. File All Remaining Tasks with Actionable Labeling – As you’re filing all the tasks that take more than 2 minutes to complete, verify that the subject and description (for me this is placed in the subject line of an email message) of the task is clear and action oriented. It’s easiest to think of this in labeling method as having two distincts parts, the task subject and the next action description. For example, “Design New Website Layout | Meet with the CEO to discuss my design ideas.”
6. Set Reminders in Calendar for Time Dependent Tasks – You should place a reminder in your calendar (for me this is the Outlook calendar) for any task with an associated time dependency. For example, a task entitled “Design New Website Layout | Design meeting Monday 10AM”, should also have a reminder entry placed in your calendar for 10AM Monday morning.
7. Review Every Open Task a Least Once a Day – Once your inbox is empty, read through all the tasks in your “Work” and “Personal” folders everyday just to review what you have in there. During this quick review process you will be able to remove tasks that have been completed, edit tasks as necessary with additional information and refresh your memory on all the open tasks you have. Note: Only review your “Someday Maybe” folder once a week at a set time.
8. Create a Short “Everyday” List for Complex Tasks or Projects – Create a short list of the things you must do everyday to ensure that you remain in control of a specific complex task or project (a group of related tasks). Review this list every morning or whenever you need a quick reminder. This especially helps me get into the groove of managing new, long-term projects that I have not yet fully mastered. An “Everyday” list might look something like this: Project X Everyday - 1. Meet with program managers, 2. Review active status reports, 3. Verify validity of open issues, etc.
Hopefully this 1 minute, GTD-based lesson will set you on the right track and motivate you to implement a similar system in your own life, a system for productively getting things done.
I found that some of David Allen’s suggestions were instantly applicable, some needed a little tweaking to better suit my needs and others were a bit too rigid and were thus substituted for alternative methods. After 2 months of fine-tuning I’m happy to report that I have implemented a productivity system that works really well.
That’s what this short article is about. A crystal clear, 1 minute read on increasing your productivity by using the slightly modified GTD-based methods that have worked for me. Let’s get to it…
1. Create 1 Inbox (Entry Point) for All New Tasks – This should be the only place you record the new things you must get done and the only place you need to reference when you are ready to review them. I use my Outlook inbox as my GTD inbox. This will work well for anyone like me who receives a large quantity of tasks via email. If a task comes in any other format (snail mail, face to face meeting, phone call, etc.), I immediately send myself one email with a descriptive subject and body (more info below) for each new task.
2. Create “Work”, “Personal” and “Someday Maybe” Folders – I created 3 subfolders under my main Outlook inbox for this purpose. All work related tasks that must be done will be filed under “Work” and all personal tasks that must be done will be filed under “Personal”. Any less urgent tasks or miscellaneous ideas will be filed under “Someday Maybe” (these are open ended tasks like “learn Spanish”).
3. Completely Empty Your Inbox Every Morning – I completely empty my inbox every single morning without failure. This entails deleting any garbage emails, instantly completing the open tasks that take less than 2 minutes to resolve (more info below) and then filing all the remaining tasks into their appropriate subfolders.
4. Instantly Complete All 2-Minute (or less) Tasks – This is the most useful GTD method in the whole book. Every time you review new tasks (or new small parts of bigger tasks) ask yourself this question: Will this task take me longer than two minutes to complete if I start on it now? If the answer is no, do it now.
5. File All Remaining Tasks with Actionable Labeling – As you’re filing all the tasks that take more than 2 minutes to complete, verify that the subject and description (for me this is placed in the subject line of an email message) of the task is clear and action oriented. It’s easiest to think of this in labeling method as having two distincts parts, the task subject and the next action description. For example, “Design New Website Layout | Meet with the CEO to discuss my design ideas.”
6. Set Reminders in Calendar for Time Dependent Tasks – You should place a reminder in your calendar (for me this is the Outlook calendar) for any task with an associated time dependency. For example, a task entitled “Design New Website Layout | Design meeting Monday 10AM”, should also have a reminder entry placed in your calendar for 10AM Monday morning.
7. Review Every Open Task a Least Once a Day – Once your inbox is empty, read through all the tasks in your “Work” and “Personal” folders everyday just to review what you have in there. During this quick review process you will be able to remove tasks that have been completed, edit tasks as necessary with additional information and refresh your memory on all the open tasks you have. Note: Only review your “Someday Maybe” folder once a week at a set time.
8. Create a Short “Everyday” List for Complex Tasks or Projects – Create a short list of the things you must do everyday to ensure that you remain in control of a specific complex task or project (a group of related tasks). Review this list every morning or whenever you need a quick reminder. This especially helps me get into the groove of managing new, long-term projects that I have not yet fully mastered. An “Everyday” list might look something like this: Project X Everyday - 1. Meet with program managers, 2. Review active status reports, 3. Verify validity of open issues, etc.
Hopefully this 1 minute, GTD-based lesson will set you on the right track and motivate you to implement a similar system in your own life, a system for productively getting things done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
